Across the Sea
by Thanatos34
Summary: Mass Effect 3 Spoilers. FemShep/Thane. "The prayer was not for him, Commander. He has already asked forgiveness for the lives he has taken. His wish... was for you."


_~Author's Note~ Oh dear god. I told myself I wasn't going to take my poor Eve Shepard through ME3. I knew better. There was enough sadness in the damn ending. And then I went and did it anyway. I must enjoy being cruel to my characters on some level, even if I was just about crying watching it happen._

_Anyway, I couldn't believe no one tried to comfort her, that there was no breakdown or anything after Thane's death and that Shepard seemed completely unaffected afterwards, so this had to be written._

* * *

><p>Evelynn Shepard heard what the doctor was saying with her ears, but not with her heart. Thane couldn't leave. Not now. She needed him, needed him to be there with her so that she could laugh with him in a galaxy free of the threat of Reapers. She knew that Kepral's was a disease no one recovered from, but she knew it with her head, not her heart. She never truly believed she was going to lose him. Not until now.<p>

She stepped through the door. Kolyat was there, praying.

He turned towards her.

"Commander Shepard. My father mentioned you were no longer incarcerated." He smiled, just a bit.

Shepard cut him off before he could say another word. She hugged him, tightly. "How are you doing, Kolyat?"

The younger drell coughed, an embarrassed sound, but Shepard didn't care at this point. The kid was watching his father die. "I- I'm fine, Commander. He... he asked me to take off his oxygen mask. It won't be long now. He's been asking for you."

Shepard stepped past him and looked down at her lover. Thane smiled at her. "Siha. I'm afraid I've picked a bad time to leave."

She bent down, suppressing the tears that were threatening to overwhelm her. "You couldn't disappoint me, Thane. Not even now."

"Such pleasant things from your lips." He coughed, a horrible sound. "Excuse me. Breathing is... difficult."

She swallowed hard, feeling almost physical pain at the sight of Thane's suffering. "Siha... it will be soon. I need to know if the councilor survived."

She grasped his hand, squeezing. "He did, Thane. You stopped them."

He looked at her, his black eyes staring into her brown ones. He coughed again, and that seemed to break him out of his trance. "There is something I must do before it gets worse, I must-" A second coughing fit, the worst one yet, interrupted him. Shepard held his hand, waiting for it to pass. Not sure if it ever would. Finally, he stopped. "Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness. Kalahira, whose waves wear down stone and sand-" Again, another coughing fit stopped him from continuing. Kolyat spoke up, picking up where Thane had left off. "Kalahira, wash the sins from this one, and set him on the distant shore of the infinite spirit."

Thane practically glowed with pride. "Kolyat... you speak as the priests do. You have been spending time with them." It was a statement, not a question, but Kolyat nodded. He walked over to Shepard's side of the bed, and knelt down next to her. "I...I brought a prayer book." He hesitated for a brief instant then- "Commander. Would you care to join me?"

Shepard didn't trust herself to speak. She simply nodded. Kolyat opened the book, and she shifted closer to him so that she could see.

Kolyat spoke first. "Kalahira. This one's heart is pure, but beset by wickedness and contention." He paused, waiting.

Shepard began where he had left off. "Guide this one to where the traveler never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve. Guide this one, Kalahira, and... she will be a companion to you as she was to me." That was it, that was the last line. She had said it as slowly as she could, sensing that Thane was hanging on just to hear her finish.

Kolyat closed his book, and the two of them stood there for a minute, Thane's labored breathing the only sound in the room.

Shepard was struggling to keep her emotions in check, she didn't want to break down in front of Thane's son, he was probably in just as much pain as she.

"Kolyat… why did the last verse say she?"

Kolyat looked at her. "The prayer was not for him, Commander. He has already asked forgiveness for the lives he has taken. His wish... was for you."

The tears came up, despite her resolve. Thane turned and looked at her, one last time. She bent down and kissed him, and felt the breath leave him in the same moment. She didn't want to let go, it wasn't fair that she couldn't save him. But Thane would not have wanted her to shirk her duty. She pulled back, blinking fiercely, and looked down at his still form.

"Bye, Thane. Meet you across the sea," she whispered in farewell.

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><p>The rest of the crew was talking about Ashley, how it was great to have a hero of the first battle of the Reapers back on board.<p>

She felt a flash of anger at them. No one had mentioned Thane's sacrifice. No one seemed to even care that he was dead. Ashley was her usual, chipper, oblivious self. Shepard told her to go set up and quit bothering her. Ashley looked a little askance at her harsh tone, but went anyway.

Shepard found herself in engineering. Unsure of why she had come, she walked forward, just going through the motions at this point. Tali was standing just outside the engine core room, having some sort of argument with Joker over exactly what he could put the drive converters in their engine through. She looked up and saw Shepard. "Commander! Would you tell this little bosh'tet-" The quarian cut herself off as Shepard made eye contact. She shut the comm off, giving Joker no explanation, and turned to Shepard. There were no words needed. No words necessary. Tali opened her arms and Shepard stumbled into them.

"Th-Thane-" Shepard tried to get it out, but she couldn't get past his name. He was gone. He was really gone.

Tali just shushed her and she sank down on the floor, still holding Eve. Shepard's shoulders shook and all the tears she had been holding back came bursting out of her.

Tali didn't know what to do, so she just held her, letting Shepard cry herself out. It was the least she could do for the friend who had helped her through those times after she lost her father, who had yelled at the quarian council for setting her up, who had been with her all this time. There was no reason to say anything. She poured all the love she had for this human woman into holding her.

The elevator doors opened, and Garrus stepped out. "Tali, have you seen-" He cut off as he looked down at the two of them. Tali met his gaze steadily. He looked awkwardly down at his commander, still wrapped in the quarian's arms, her shoulders shaking. He could think of nothing better to do than to follow the quarian's example, and so he did, sitting down behind Shepard and wrapping both of them in his arms. The contact provoked a fresh outburst from the human woman between them and her shoulders shook even harder.

The three of them just sat there, the turian, the quarian, and the human. She had done so much for them, they could be here for her when she needed them most.

They remained on the floor of the Normandy's engineering deck, saying nothing.

For nothing needed to be said.


End file.
